Scripture: “We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father,
Woo wee, this is a HUGE struggle for me in my life. How hard or easy is it to have compassion for people versus judgment? HARD! I teeter on that fine line between judgment and correction every day with students, fellow colleagues, and my family. I'm very ACT RIGHT...I want people at work to have common sense, I want students to not wear hoodies like they're not supposed to, I want new teachers to get a clue about classroom management, I want my family to act "right" according to me. Yes, not everyone will do what I want them to do all the time. I do feel people have "gotten away" with deviant or bad behavior because our society allows "grace" or a lax in correction because we don't want to hurt feelings or we're allowing people to be their individual self. They're mistaking correction for judgment especially the younger generation. Now, I sound like an old person. I have empathy for many things in peoples' lives, but I'm still going to say "straighten up" if you're not making good decisions. I don't ever feel like I'm better than other people. I just feel like without corrective guidance, people will do what they want and that's not always what they should be doing. Well, then people say, what makes you the judge of what I should be doing? It's used as a crutch now..a "gaslight answer" so to speak. There are so many students that do not like me correcting them at the high school. "You're mean, Miss." I get that a lot. No, I'm nice. The world is mean, and listen to me because I'm always going to pour into you what will make you successful in the world. That's my job. I want every kid to leave our school with knowledge in academics, gumption and follow-through skills, financial awareness, and spiritual health. My compassion for these students to excel in life worries me so much for when they leave our bubble. I'm so scared for them. I cry at graduation every time. 30 years now! Yes, I'm sad to see them go, but I'm mostly stressed about the world they're jumping into. Part of me thinks I need more humility and grace for people and then I think maybe I just need to have more faith. It's such a struggle for me and I've made my body sick over the years of worry.
This is so great, thanks for sharing! I wrestle with this line too. It is tough.
Offering grace is hopefully aimed toward redemptive, restorative outcomes, like the bishop to Jean Valjean in Les Miserables. Unfortunately, offering grace can end up as "casting pearls before swine," only we can't know the outcome in advance--whether that grace will transform the swine into delightful Wilburs or be ignored by boorish Uncles.
I will say this too. I believe that "speaking the truth in love" is an act of grace, that is, a gift. The key of course is love.
Finally, there's a lot of confusion between using and promoting good judgment versus being judgmental. Today, the doing the former is often confused for being the latter. What is wrong--immoral and unethical, not simply matters of convention, are rightly judged. (Obeying appropriate rules is good; hewing to matters of social convention in appropriate settings is often wise, though we may find exceptions.)
Even if we are right, do we have condemnation in our hearts? Is our "judgment" truly good discernment that is motivated by compassion and love? If so, then put aside any reservation. Don't allow condemnation inside the walls of your heart, but keep on giving the best guidance you possibly can. That too is a grace. As a parent, I'm so grateful for it!
Woo wee, this is a HUGE struggle for me in my life. How hard or easy is it to have compassion for people versus judgment? HARD! I teeter on that fine line between judgment and correction every day with students, fellow colleagues, and my family. I'm very ACT RIGHT...I want people at work to have common sense, I want students to not wear hoodies like they're not supposed to, I want new teachers to get a clue about classroom management, I want my family to act "right" according to me. Yes, not everyone will do what I want them to do all the time. I do feel people have "gotten away" with deviant or bad behavior because our society allows "grace" or a lax in correction because we don't want to hurt feelings or we're allowing people to be their individual self. They're mistaking correction for judgment especially the younger generation. Now, I sound like an old person. I have empathy for many things in peoples' lives, but I'm still going to say "straighten up" if you're not making good decisions. I don't ever feel like I'm better than other people. I just feel like without corrective guidance, people will do what they want and that's not always what they should be doing. Well, then people say, what makes you the judge of what I should be doing? It's used as a crutch now..a "gaslight answer" so to speak. There are so many students that do not like me correcting them at the high school. "You're mean, Miss." I get that a lot. No, I'm nice. The world is mean, and listen to me because I'm always going to pour into you what will make you successful in the world. That's my job. I want every kid to leave our school with knowledge in academics, gumption and follow-through skills, financial awareness, and spiritual health. My compassion for these students to excel in life worries me so much for when they leave our bubble. I'm so scared for them. I cry at graduation every time. 30 years now! Yes, I'm sad to see them go, but I'm mostly stressed about the world they're jumping into. Part of me thinks I need more humility and grace for people and then I think maybe I just need to have more faith. It's such a struggle for me and I've made my body sick over the years of worry.
This is so great, thanks for sharing! I wrestle with this line too. It is tough.
Offering grace is hopefully aimed toward redemptive, restorative outcomes, like the bishop to Jean Valjean in Les Miserables. Unfortunately, offering grace can end up as "casting pearls before swine," only we can't know the outcome in advance--whether that grace will transform the swine into delightful Wilburs or be ignored by boorish Uncles.
I will say this too. I believe that "speaking the truth in love" is an act of grace, that is, a gift. The key of course is love.
Finally, there's a lot of confusion between using and promoting good judgment versus being judgmental. Today, the doing the former is often confused for being the latter. What is wrong--immoral and unethical, not simply matters of convention, are rightly judged. (Obeying appropriate rules is good; hewing to matters of social convention in appropriate settings is often wise, though we may find exceptions.)
Even if we are right, do we have condemnation in our hearts? Is our "judgment" truly good discernment that is motivated by compassion and love? If so, then put aside any reservation. Don't allow condemnation inside the walls of your heart, but keep on giving the best guidance you possibly can. That too is a grace. As a parent, I'm so grateful for it!
:)