Seeds for 11/10/2023 - Matthew 18:15-17
Scripture: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Observation: In this passage marked by both exceptional practicality and exceeding discomfort, perhaps the most generous word is two letters long: “if.”
“If your brother or sister sins…” I’m confident that we’re talking about “when” here, but I appreciate the benefit of the doubt.
The pattern here is like ripples in a pond, beginning very close to the initiating situation, then radiating outward to larger and larger rings. Jesus’ instructions bring together two very challenging elements that do not typically coexist: confrontation about sin and honoring relationship and dignity of persons involved.
Confrontation about sin is uncomfortable for most people. This is true whether you are offering correction or receiving it. But Jesus’ instructions mitigate the discomfort as much as possible, while also honoring the relationship, by having us begin by involving as few people as possible.
Like riding a bicycle, when we hit turbulence in a relationship, in order to gain our balance, we establish a third point of contact in order to stabilize. For a bicycle, that means putting a foot on the ground. It isn’t good for forward progress, but it does keep us from falling over in a stiff breeze or if we lose our balance. For a relationship, this looks like talking to a third party rather than collecting our thoughts and discussing the issue with the other party involved. (In family systems parlance, this is an example of a triangle.)
Only if a personal conversation is ineffective does the issue rise to level of having one or two others involved, or more.
Within this practical instruction, two guiding principles are evidently foundational. First, sin is destructive and all benefit when someone repents, including the party at fault. Second, even when someone has sinned and damaged the fabric of the community, individual dignity is worth honoring in the midst of accountability.
When hearing this instruction, I first think of being in position to discern how to do the confrontation effectively. Yet it is at least as likely that I may be confronted and held accountable due to my own sins and shortcomings. Christian maturity consists of cultivating a heart that will respond with humble repentance rather than defensive rage.
Application:
How hard is it to listen well when we are confronted with our own sins and faults?
What else might the Holy Spirit be speaking with you about in the text today?
Prayer: Lord, grant me deep humility, that I may receive and offer correction from an authentic and generous spirit of love. Amen.
“But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” (Matthew 13:23)
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